Delayed. Again.

Or as Chad would say (and did say when I told him), "Surprise, surprise!"

Apparently, our agency tried to submit the document the Embassy wanted again (second try), and they still weren't happy. So they have asked for an ad to be run in the newspaper there for 2 weeks. The theory is that at the end of the two weeks, the police can then sign off on that being done, and the Embassy will be happy. Our caseworker told me she can't think of anything else they could want. I'm sure the Embassy can! But I am choosing to believe that this will be it. The ad hopefully started running today (fingers crossed), so it will be right around Labor Day that the letter is written, signed, translated, and submitted. The Embassy then needs to review it. My birthday is September 7th, and the ONLY thing I want is to be cleared to travel. I had really hoped to be with Gabby for my birthday, and I realize now there is no way that will happen.

Another family from our agency is about a week ahead of us in the "ad running" process, so seeing how things go for them will be a good indicator for us. We desperately want to travel with them-the mom has become one of my very best adoption buddies. There is another family, with another wonderfully supportive mom, who lives just a couple hours from us, and they are also mired in paperwork gathering. I would love to travel with them as well, so I am hoping that perhaps God has orchestrated all this so that we can all go together and meet in person. That would be a nice silver lining to all this waiting!

I'm not going to lie, when our caseworker called to tell me the update yesterday, I was devastated. I was a sniffly mess on the phone with her, and promptly had a really good cry once I was off the phone. I don't understand WHY this has taken so long. It has been over six months since we first saw Gabby's picture. We were referred a 3 month old, and she will (hopefully, assuming no more delays) be almost 11 months old when we bring her home. That's crazy to me. I have struggled, and struggled, with how much of her first year we have missed. It breaks my heart that I won't have all the baby stories to share with her that I do with the boys.

And then that wonderfully supportive mom (Hi Ashley!), going through the same thing, linked me to a blog post at Kisses from Katie. Katie is a hero in the adoption community. She is a 22 year old woman who left her entire world behind in the US to move to Uganda, where she is in the process of adopting 13 (yes, 13) children. She is amazing. As she lamented the other day about missing out on the moments of one of her children's early life, she wrote this: "He did not choose me for those moments, He chose me for these." Wow. I have been repeating this to myself for the last 30 hours, every time I start to get sad all over again.

So I am choosing joy. Or trying to, anyway. I have two beautiful kids here to keep me busy and happy and laughing. And I know that the moments in Gabby's life that God did choose me for are coming. Now to keep remembering that...