It's been so long since we were there, I worry I've forgotten so many details, but I really want to document our first trip, both to share and as a record for Gabrielle one day. So...on to day 4!!
If you remember back to our previous day in Ethiopia, we had arrived back at the guest house just in time for the power to go out. I had debated taking a sleeping pill to see if I could finally get a decent night's sleep, but thought that I was so tired I would surely sleep well. Wrong...
At about 12:45 am, the power came back on and so did our overhead light. I woke up to turn it off and couldn't go back to sleep for two hours. I finally fell back to sleep only to be woken up at 3:30 by chanting coming over the loudspeaker of the church next door. The prayers continued every 30 minutes for the rest of the night. Chad and I both wanted to die.
However, there was no time for wallowing in sleepiness...today was the whole reason we had come-court! We went downstairs for breakfast and chatted with Woudneh while we ate. We asked him if there was anything we needed to bring for court, and he told us no (remember that!). We took quick pictures with the babies since we were all dressed nicely, and then headed to court at 8 am. After driving through Addis, we arrived at the courthouse at 8:40 and made our way through the streets, metal detector, and then up to the 4th floor. As we arrived at our floor, JW off-handedly asked Woudneh, "We didn't need our passports or anything, right?" Woudneh's face sank and he told us that yes, we would need them. Woudneh stayed back at the courthouse to try to stall our appearance while we drove back with our driver. He was so awesome, totally flooring it to get us there and back as fast as possible. We arrived back at the courthouse at 10 am and were told we hadn't been called yet. I had to go to the bathroom so bad, and we found one I could use, but it was the MOST disgusting bathroom ever. You do what you gotta do, but I'm glad to never see that one again! We had raced up the stairs, and I felt weak and shaky. It was hot and crowded in the room, and I worried I would pass out, so I found an empty seat and looked around. The room was filled with such opposite ends of the spectrum-all these white families there to adopt, and so many Ethiopian people there to give up the rights to their children. It was a sad room to be in, especially because not even the adoptive families were happy, as they weren't passing court (no MOWA letters). The window blinds fell off the wall at one point and hit an Ethiopian woman...it was an interesting experience.
After a little while they called both us and the Godwins back. It was a small room, maybe 8"x16", with the judge's desk at one end, chairs for the families on the other end, and a long desk for her assistants in the middle. We were the furthest away from the judge, and it was difficult to hear her, especially as there was construction going on outside. She asked 5-6 questions, then told us that we didn't yet have MOWA's recommendation, so she couldn't approve us yet. It was what we were expecting, but still disappointing.
We left the courthouse and began to drive to Ambo, a town about 2 and a 1/2 hours from Addis where the Godwins' daughter was from. We were driving through the busy streets when we witnessed our first car accident. The driving there was the craziest we had seen anywhere we've ever been, and we had asked about accidents, but never thought we'd see one! A truck and a motorcycle collided, and the motorcycle driver was injured. I was so impressed with Chad, who immediately hopped out of our van to see if he could help. They brought water to the man, but a huge crowd had formed so they left after that. Woudneh said the other driver would bring the man to the hospital himself, and then pay him off to keep from going to jail. Pretty exciting stuff!
We continued on to Ambo. We stopped to eat at a hotel, where Chad had a “fish sandwich” and Jana had a “cheeseburger.“ JW had a club sandwich with beef and egg in it. Then we went on to Bright Vision Orphanage. We got to see all the kids and hold the babies. The director is very young, 26, and Muslim (Muslims are typically anti-adoption). They have a nurse and clinical room, but no medicines or supplies. Chad spoke with local doctor to get list of what is needed, and we are going to try to get them. We had another coffee ceremony, but it was not as good, and once again I had to get Chad to drink mine! The toddlers all try to pee on tiny pots. We took pics of all the kids there to send to parents because all the kids are referred. We passed out candy to the kids and workers (this was the first time it occurred to me that the workers probably don't get candy a whole lot either, and they were so grateful and happy to get a piece). It was a nicer and newer facility than Gabby's orphanage, and with only 10-14 kids, but they had less supplies.
We began the two and a half hour drive from Ambo back to Addis. It was around 3 pm, and Woudneh told us we might be able to shop when we got back. He had also been trying to arrange a visit between the Godwins and their daughter's birth mother. It began to rain on the way back, and all of us napped a little bit, read, or listened to music. We were all exhausted, and for the first time did not stare out the window at the countryside. We got into Addis and went to a part we hadn’t been to before, so we assumed it was to shop. All of the sudden we heard Woudneh say, “Oh, she is here,” and the van stopped. We thought we were getting out to shop, but instead a young woman and an older woman got into the van with us. It was the Godwins’ daughter’s birth mother and her employer. Very awkward. The Godwins were completely caught off-guard, but did a great job asking all the questions they had prepared. We stopped to get pictures of her with them. It was starting to get dark after that, so we decided to go straight to eating dinner instead of trying to shop a little. We ate at an Italian restaurant. Chad had lasagna, and I had cheese pizza. We stopped at a gas station to get drinks and cookies, and laughed hysterically while Woudneh tried to teach JW and Chad to speak Amharic.
It was about 8 or 8:30 when we got back to the transition home. We went upstairs to try to Skype, but the kids and Sue had gone to the Children's Museum. We met JW and KC and watched The Hangover downstairs while we ate snacks-we really ”partied it up” on our last night in Ethiopia! We headed up to bed around 11 pm. This time we both wised up and took sleeping pills, and got a really decent 7 hours of sleep. One more day to go!
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
No Real News
Just in case anyone out there doesn't have the opportunity to see my frequent updates (read: whining) on facebook, I wanted to fill you in on where we are in our ever-present waiting game. (And warning...there is more whining ahead!)
If you recall, we were having an ad run in the newspaper to hopefully satisfy the Embassy's requests. We believe this began running around the 16th or 17th, and it is supposed to run for two weeks, meaning it may be done as of today. If not, then definitely within the next day or so. Once the ad has run its course, a new letter is written by the police, then translated, and eventually submitted to the Embassy. I am hopeful this will be done by the end of this week or early next week. At that point, they will (once again) review everything and either clear us or ask for something else. Our agency tells us they really think this should be it. I am trying to believe that, while preparing my heart for the possibility that there could be more. I have e-mailed with the embassy a little bit, and from what they have told me, I have a glimmer of hope that this will satisfy them. It seems there has been just one real "hole" in our documentation, and the ad should fill it. Please pray with us that this is true!
So...it is possible that by the end of next week, we could be cleared to travel. I am trying to walk a fine line between positive energy and faith AND pragmatism and realism and all those other unfun -isms. I honestly don't know what I will do if they ask for something else, so I'm trying not to worry about that possibility too much. At this point, 12 families have been submitted to the Embassy from our agency that I know of over the past two months. Six before us, one with us, and four after us. Of all of those, one family submitted before us remains (and has been dealing with many of the same issues we have), one family after us remains, and then us. The other nine have all cleared, some with no issues at all. I have been really struggling with WHY these delays and problems have happened to us. I don't think we've done anything wrong. I don't think we love Gabby one bit less than those families love their children. There is not thing about this process that is fair, or easily understood, or routine. And that is really hard for a type-A, control freak, impatient person like myself to understand. I fight everyday to be happy for those families instead of just sad and bitter for myself.
So...that's where we're at. I'm hanging out at the corner of whiny and bitter. I'm trying to make my way up the street to the intersection of hopeful and faithful! :) So many of you tell me that you are praying for us, or thinking of us, and I want you to know just how much that means to me. Please, keep us in your prayers just a little while longer. I really hope this whole thing is behind us in another week or so!
If you recall, we were having an ad run in the newspaper to hopefully satisfy the Embassy's requests. We believe this began running around the 16th or 17th, and it is supposed to run for two weeks, meaning it may be done as of today. If not, then definitely within the next day or so. Once the ad has run its course, a new letter is written by the police, then translated, and eventually submitted to the Embassy. I am hopeful this will be done by the end of this week or early next week. At that point, they will (once again) review everything and either clear us or ask for something else. Our agency tells us they really think this should be it. I am trying to believe that, while preparing my heart for the possibility that there could be more. I have e-mailed with the embassy a little bit, and from what they have told me, I have a glimmer of hope that this will satisfy them. It seems there has been just one real "hole" in our documentation, and the ad should fill it. Please pray with us that this is true!
So...it is possible that by the end of next week, we could be cleared to travel. I am trying to walk a fine line between positive energy and faith AND pragmatism and realism and all those other unfun -isms. I honestly don't know what I will do if they ask for something else, so I'm trying not to worry about that possibility too much. At this point, 12 families have been submitted to the Embassy from our agency that I know of over the past two months. Six before us, one with us, and four after us. Of all of those, one family submitted before us remains (and has been dealing with many of the same issues we have), one family after us remains, and then us. The other nine have all cleared, some with no issues at all. I have been really struggling with WHY these delays and problems have happened to us. I don't think we've done anything wrong. I don't think we love Gabby one bit less than those families love their children. There is not thing about this process that is fair, or easily understood, or routine. And that is really hard for a type-A, control freak, impatient person like myself to understand. I fight everyday to be happy for those families instead of just sad and bitter for myself.
So...that's where we're at. I'm hanging out at the corner of whiny and bitter. I'm trying to make my way up the street to the intersection of hopeful and faithful! :) So many of you tell me that you are praying for us, or thinking of us, and I want you to know just how much that means to me. Please, keep us in your prayers just a little while longer. I really hope this whole thing is behind us in another week or so!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Delayed. Again.
Or as Chad would say (and did say when I told him), "Surprise, surprise!"
Apparently, our agency tried to submit the document the Embassy wanted again (second try), and they still weren't happy. So they have asked for an ad to be run in the newspaper there for 2 weeks. The theory is that at the end of the two weeks, the police can then sign off on that being done, and the Embassy will be happy. Our caseworker told me she can't think of anything else they could want. I'm sure the Embassy can! But I am choosing to believe that this will be it. The ad hopefully started running today (fingers crossed), so it will be right around Labor Day that the letter is written, signed, translated, and submitted. The Embassy then needs to review it. My birthday is September 7th, and the ONLY thing I want is to be cleared to travel. I had really hoped to be with Gabby for my birthday, and I realize now there is no way that will happen.
Another family from our agency is about a week ahead of us in the "ad running" process, so seeing how things go for them will be a good indicator for us. We desperately want to travel with them-the mom has become one of my very best adoption buddies. There is another family, with another wonderfully supportive mom, who lives just a couple hours from us, and they are also mired in paperwork gathering. I would love to travel with them as well, so I am hoping that perhaps God has orchestrated all this so that we can all go together and meet in person. That would be a nice silver lining to all this waiting!
I'm not going to lie, when our caseworker called to tell me the update yesterday, I was devastated. I was a sniffly mess on the phone with her, and promptly had a really good cry once I was off the phone. I don't understand WHY this has taken so long. It has been over six months since we first saw Gabby's picture. We were referred a 3 month old, and she will (hopefully, assuming no more delays) be almost 11 months old when we bring her home. That's crazy to me. I have struggled, and struggled, with how much of her first year we have missed. It breaks my heart that I won't have all the baby stories to share with her that I do with the boys.
And then that wonderfully supportive mom (Hi Ashley!), going through the same thing, linked me to a blog post at Kisses from Katie. Katie is a hero in the adoption community. She is a 22 year old woman who left her entire world behind in the US to move to Uganda, where she is in the process of adopting 13 (yes, 13) children. She is amazing. As she lamented the other day about missing out on the moments of one of her children's early life, she wrote this: "He did not choose me for those moments, He chose me for these." Wow. I have been repeating this to myself for the last 30 hours, every time I start to get sad all over again.
So I am choosing joy. Or trying to, anyway. I have two beautiful kids here to keep me busy and happy and laughing. And I know that the moments in Gabby's life that God did choose me for are coming. Now to keep remembering that...
Apparently, our agency tried to submit the document the Embassy wanted again (second try), and they still weren't happy. So they have asked for an ad to be run in the newspaper there for 2 weeks. The theory is that at the end of the two weeks, the police can then sign off on that being done, and the Embassy will be happy. Our caseworker told me she can't think of anything else they could want. I'm sure the Embassy can! But I am choosing to believe that this will be it. The ad hopefully started running today (fingers crossed), so it will be right around Labor Day that the letter is written, signed, translated, and submitted. The Embassy then needs to review it. My birthday is September 7th, and the ONLY thing I want is to be cleared to travel. I had really hoped to be with Gabby for my birthday, and I realize now there is no way that will happen.
Another family from our agency is about a week ahead of us in the "ad running" process, so seeing how things go for them will be a good indicator for us. We desperately want to travel with them-the mom has become one of my very best adoption buddies. There is another family, with another wonderfully supportive mom, who lives just a couple hours from us, and they are also mired in paperwork gathering. I would love to travel with them as well, so I am hoping that perhaps God has orchestrated all this so that we can all go together and meet in person. That would be a nice silver lining to all this waiting!
I'm not going to lie, when our caseworker called to tell me the update yesterday, I was devastated. I was a sniffly mess on the phone with her, and promptly had a really good cry once I was off the phone. I don't understand WHY this has taken so long. It has been over six months since we first saw Gabby's picture. We were referred a 3 month old, and she will (hopefully, assuming no more delays) be almost 11 months old when we bring her home. That's crazy to me. I have struggled, and struggled, with how much of her first year we have missed. It breaks my heart that I won't have all the baby stories to share with her that I do with the boys.
And then that wonderfully supportive mom (Hi Ashley!), going through the same thing, linked me to a blog post at Kisses from Katie. Katie is a hero in the adoption community. She is a 22 year old woman who left her entire world behind in the US to move to Uganda, where she is in the process of adopting 13 (yes, 13) children. She is amazing. As she lamented the other day about missing out on the moments of one of her children's early life, she wrote this: "He did not choose me for those moments, He chose me for these." Wow. I have been repeating this to myself for the last 30 hours, every time I start to get sad all over again.
So I am choosing joy. Or trying to, anyway. I have two beautiful kids here to keep me busy and happy and laughing. And I know that the moments in Gabby's life that God did choose me for are coming. Now to keep remembering that...
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Update...
Well, the document the embassy requested was indeed submitted earlier this week. And they promptly rejected it and asked for it to be redone. Of course. I am assuming the redo will take about the same amount of time as the first attempt, though I have no idea. If that's accurate, it will be submitted early next week. Then it has to be accepted (not rejected), and then they will either clear us or ask for yet more documentation. The biggest downside right now is that the Embassy is not going to see appointments the week of the 29th, so even if we do clear next week, it will be a miracle if we travel before Labor Day. Of course, I believe that God is bigger than calendars, so my prayer is for a miracle to occur and for us to pass early next week and get an appointment for the week of the 22nd still. This seems unlikely, but I'm praying for it anyway!
In other news, Gabby's room is officially complete, and adorable if I do say so myself :) Now, I just need her home to look adorable in it!
In other news, Gabby's room is officially complete, and adorable if I do say so myself :) Now, I just need her home to look adorable in it!
Thursday, August 4, 2011
I'm a slacker, I know...
I know, I know...I've pretty much fallen off the face of the earth! This summer has been INSANELY busy (a wonderful thing, because it's kept us busy and given me lots of distraction from missing my girl). Just to give you an idea what we've been up to, we left for Ethiopia the day after Griffin's last day of school, and things haven't let up for a second. We've had:
-a week of basketball camp for Griffin
-a week of soccer camp for Griffin/VBS for Cooper
-a week of VBS for both boys
-summer reading programs and activities at our library
-3 weeks of swim lessons for both boys
-class picnics and birthday parties for Griffin
-the 4th of July and block parties and fireworks at the lake
-Cooper's 4th birthday and his big party
-a weekend away for Chad and I to celebrate our 10th anniversary
-lots of trips to the zoo and Children's Museum
-afternoons at the Y pool
-a week in the Outer Banks
-camping trips
Whew! We have 10 more days before Griffin's first day of 1st grade (my baby is a 1st grader...boo hoo!), and we're still trying to pack in a day at the State Fair, one more camping trip, two days at Holiday World, a day trip to see my high school best friend and her kids, another birthday party, one more trip to the lake, and getting haircuts and new shoes and all that other "back to school" stuff! Seriously, I have never enjoyed a summer more, and as much as I miss Gabby every minute, it's been really enjoyable having two older kids who can play all summer long! They even gave me the great gift of getting along most of the time (although all bets have been off the last week or so...pretty sure it's time for school to start back up!)
So that's what has been keeping us going. And like I said, it is a wonderful blessing that we have been so busy, because we've spent the last 2 months just kind of biding our time, adoption-wise. We returned from Ethiopia two months ago today. We got the news that our MOWA recommendation was in on June 17th, and since then we've been waiting, and waiting, and waiting, to be submitted to the US Embassy.
I am not an expert on the process by any means, but my rough understanding is that after passing court, we needed a court decree, birth certificate with her "new" name (her Ethiopian first name and then Chad's full name), passport, and medical exam in order to be submitted to the US Embassy in Addis. Every adoption agency has their own day of the week to submit families, and ours is Wednesday. Last Monday we were told that everything was pretty much ready, we were just waiting on translating, and odds were good we could sneak in. Then we were told on Wednesday that it didn't happen. I was SO disappointed. There was a lot of crying and despair and being mean to Chad because the poor man is stuck with me.
Then the next day, my best friend Jen gave me a gift. It's a beautiful silver bracelet, hand-stamped with "so blessed" on the inside. She gave it to me to cheer me up, and it did. I began thinking of all the blessings I have in my life. Three wonderful children, a stellar husband, great friends and family... And I began thinking in bigger terms too. I am so blessed that I have never had to face the heart-wrenching choice to give up a child because I can't afford to care for them. And as much as I mourn how much of Gabby's first year I am missing, I know that I will have the rest of her life with her. And her birthmother can't say that. Blessed...
And right as I was all proud of myself and my newfound maturity, I got an e-mail on Tuesday morning from the US Embassy, requesting additional documentation for Gabby. I was so confused and excited, and after some clarification, it turns out that we somehow were submitted last week after all-a miscommunication between our agency's in-country staff and US staff. It wasn't the best news we could have gotten (that we were approved to travel), but given where I thought we were at, it was a great surprise! The document they requested is pretty straight-forward, and is expected to be there early next week. At that point, we will either be approved, or the embassy will ask for still more documents. The embassy staff changed in July, and they seem to be requesting TONS more info from everyone, so we'll see what happens. I am trying to be patient and calm, and convince myself that even if there are more weeks of embassy review it won't be too bad. We'll see how long I keep that up :) If, by a miracle, we are approved next week, we could be traveling in the next few weeks. That would be amazing!! My birthday is September 7th, and ALL I want for my birthday is to celebrate with my baby girl.
Hopefully this update makes up for the total slacker I've been over the past couple months. I still have two days of our trip left to write up, and I do still plan to do that. I better get on it, since I KNOW :) we will be going back in just a few weeks!!
-a week of basketball camp for Griffin
-a week of soccer camp for Griffin/VBS for Cooper
-a week of VBS for both boys
-summer reading programs and activities at our library
-3 weeks of swim lessons for both boys
-class picnics and birthday parties for Griffin
-the 4th of July and block parties and fireworks at the lake
-Cooper's 4th birthday and his big party
-a weekend away for Chad and I to celebrate our 10th anniversary
-lots of trips to the zoo and Children's Museum
-afternoons at the Y pool
-a week in the Outer Banks
-camping trips
Whew! We have 10 more days before Griffin's first day of 1st grade (my baby is a 1st grader...boo hoo!), and we're still trying to pack in a day at the State Fair, one more camping trip, two days at Holiday World, a day trip to see my high school best friend and her kids, another birthday party, one more trip to the lake, and getting haircuts and new shoes and all that other "back to school" stuff! Seriously, I have never enjoyed a summer more, and as much as I miss Gabby every minute, it's been really enjoyable having two older kids who can play all summer long! They even gave me the great gift of getting along most of the time (although all bets have been off the last week or so...pretty sure it's time for school to start back up!)
So that's what has been keeping us going. And like I said, it is a wonderful blessing that we have been so busy, because we've spent the last 2 months just kind of biding our time, adoption-wise. We returned from Ethiopia two months ago today. We got the news that our MOWA recommendation was in on June 17th, and since then we've been waiting, and waiting, and waiting, to be submitted to the US Embassy.
I am not an expert on the process by any means, but my rough understanding is that after passing court, we needed a court decree, birth certificate with her "new" name (her Ethiopian first name and then Chad's full name), passport, and medical exam in order to be submitted to the US Embassy in Addis. Every adoption agency has their own day of the week to submit families, and ours is Wednesday. Last Monday we were told that everything was pretty much ready, we were just waiting on translating, and odds were good we could sneak in. Then we were told on Wednesday that it didn't happen. I was SO disappointed. There was a lot of crying and despair and being mean to Chad because the poor man is stuck with me.
Then the next day, my best friend Jen gave me a gift. It's a beautiful silver bracelet, hand-stamped with "so blessed" on the inside. She gave it to me to cheer me up, and it did. I began thinking of all the blessings I have in my life. Three wonderful children, a stellar husband, great friends and family... And I began thinking in bigger terms too. I am so blessed that I have never had to face the heart-wrenching choice to give up a child because I can't afford to care for them. And as much as I mourn how much of Gabby's first year I am missing, I know that I will have the rest of her life with her. And her birthmother can't say that. Blessed...
And right as I was all proud of myself and my newfound maturity, I got an e-mail on Tuesday morning from the US Embassy, requesting additional documentation for Gabby. I was so confused and excited, and after some clarification, it turns out that we somehow were submitted last week after all-a miscommunication between our agency's in-country staff and US staff. It wasn't the best news we could have gotten (that we were approved to travel), but given where I thought we were at, it was a great surprise! The document they requested is pretty straight-forward, and is expected to be there early next week. At that point, we will either be approved, or the embassy will ask for still more documents. The embassy staff changed in July, and they seem to be requesting TONS more info from everyone, so we'll see what happens. I am trying to be patient and calm, and convince myself that even if there are more weeks of embassy review it won't be too bad. We'll see how long I keep that up :) If, by a miracle, we are approved next week, we could be traveling in the next few weeks. That would be amazing!! My birthday is September 7th, and ALL I want for my birthday is to celebrate with my baby girl.
Hopefully this update makes up for the total slacker I've been over the past couple months. I still have two days of our trip left to write up, and I do still plan to do that. I better get on it, since I KNOW :) we will be going back in just a few weeks!!
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