This is such a great video! Another adoptive family made it, and the images and statistics just break my heart, and serve as such a powerful reminder of the tremendous NEED that exists in Ethiopia (and tons of other places). I just read my two boys a bedtime story, tucked them into bed, and gave them big goodnight kisses. Every child deserves that.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
It Came! It Came!
Finally, after waiting almost exactly a month from when we got our fingerprints done...our Immigration form came today! I had e-mailed USCIS on Monday, and was kind of shocked to get an e-mail back that seemed to come from a real live person, so I had known we were approved. But it still feels really good to see it in person!
We also got some news from our homestudy agency, and it was pretty much all good news (though not the best news, which would have been that we didn't have to deal with all their new rules). We found out books we've already read (3 each) will count for 2 hours each, so we're up to 14 of our 30 hours complete. I wouldn't say we're happy, or even content, with the new education requirements they forced upon us, but we're resolute and know the task that lies before us. And we learned that we won't be charged for the additional post-placement visits they are going to require (we were paying for 3, but now we'll get 5). This is actually awesome news! We loved the idea of our social worker coming to check in on us more often and being available to help us with attachment and the huge transition we'll be dealing with, we just weren't prepared for the several hundred more dollars it was going to cost. But now we get the best of both...same cost, more help! They apologized for kind of telling us about the changes before they really knew how they would all be implemented, and for starting off with the worst-case scenario. I'm just glad some of it is better than we thought!
And...the news that made me happiest of all lately...a family from our placement agency that submitted their dossier 7 weeks before us, asking for the same gender/age, was referred a 2 month old baby girl almost 2 weeks ago! That means that we're getting closer!! There is no rhyme or reason to how referrals come, so although logically that could mean we are also 7 weeks or so away from a referral, there could also be a lull and it could be 3-4 more months. No one knows, but we're definitely seeing movement, and that is thrilling!
We also got some news from our homestudy agency, and it was pretty much all good news (though not the best news, which would have been that we didn't have to deal with all their new rules). We found out books we've already read (3 each) will count for 2 hours each, so we're up to 14 of our 30 hours complete. I wouldn't say we're happy, or even content, with the new education requirements they forced upon us, but we're resolute and know the task that lies before us. And we learned that we won't be charged for the additional post-placement visits they are going to require (we were paying for 3, but now we'll get 5). This is actually awesome news! We loved the idea of our social worker coming to check in on us more often and being available to help us with attachment and the huge transition we'll be dealing with, we just weren't prepared for the several hundred more dollars it was going to cost. But now we get the best of both...same cost, more help! They apologized for kind of telling us about the changes before they really knew how they would all be implemented, and for starting off with the worst-case scenario. I'm just glad some of it is better than we thought!
And...the news that made me happiest of all lately...a family from our placement agency that submitted their dossier 7 weeks before us, asking for the same gender/age, was referred a 2 month old baby girl almost 2 weeks ago! That means that we're getting closer!! There is no rhyme or reason to how referrals come, so although logically that could mean we are also 7 weeks or so away from a referral, there could also be a lull and it could be 3-4 more months. No one knows, but we're definitely seeing movement, and that is thrilling!
Thursday, January 20, 2011
The Fun Things!
Okay, enough whining!! Let's talk fun stuff! I know a lot of people wait on buying things until they receive their referral. I totally see the merit in that. But I am just not that kind of person. Patience is not my virtue, and shopping, particularly bargain shopping, is something I really, really love. I've been buying blue boy clothes for 6 straight years, people, I needed to buy some pink!!!!
So, a sneak peek at a few of the things waiting here for baby girl (who will eventually have a name. We haven't decided for sure yet what it will be, but we really won't call her baby girl her entire life, just in case you were getting worried!)
Isn't this the cutest thing you've ever seen in your life? I saw a picture of my super adorable niece wearing this, and told my sister in law that I loved it. Imagine my thrill to get a surprise in the mail and find this very shirt inside! So happy!
I never shop at Von Maur. I've utilized their very nice nursing rooms and restrooms over the past six years, but rarely purchase anything because, um, they're expensive! But Cooper wanted to play with their train table (oops, another service of theirs we use while giving them very little business in return!), and the girls' clearance racks just so happen to be right next to it. I found this adorable Colts shirt more than 40% off and just had to get it! Go Colts!
In the midst of my pity party this week, I went to Target one morning. This changing table was an online return. Originally $250, it had been holding on clearance at $157 for the past five months, not budging at all! I saw my favorite customer service guy, Matty Jay, wheeling it on a flatbed and asked him if it would ever get marked down. He worked some magic with a scanner gun, and lo and behold, it was mine for $77!! So happy...
Last week, Target had their semi-annual toy clearance, where everything goes 75% off. In addition to buying the boys lots of stuff for their birthdays, Easter, and Christmas, this year for the first time I got to buy girl toys! Oh, was it fun to look at baby dolls, Barbies, and Strawberry Shortcake this time! 
So, a sneak peek at a few of the things waiting here for baby girl (who will eventually have a name. We haven't decided for sure yet what it will be, but we really won't call her baby girl her entire life, just in case you were getting worried!)
Isn't this the cutest thing you've ever seen in your life? I saw a picture of my super adorable niece wearing this, and told my sister in law that I loved it. Imagine my thrill to get a surprise in the mail and find this very shirt inside! So happy!
I never shop at Von Maur. I've utilized their very nice nursing rooms and restrooms over the past six years, but rarely purchase anything because, um, they're expensive! But Cooper wanted to play with their train table (oops, another service of theirs we use while giving them very little business in return!), and the girls' clearance racks just so happen to be right next to it. I found this adorable Colts shirt more than 40% off and just had to get it! Go Colts!
In the midst of my pity party this week, I went to Target one morning. This changing table was an online return. Originally $250, it had been holding on clearance at $157 for the past five months, not budging at all! I saw my favorite customer service guy, Matty Jay, wheeling it on a flatbed and asked him if it would ever get marked down. He worked some magic with a scanner gun, and lo and behold, it was mine for $77!! So happy...
Last week, Target had their semi-annual toy clearance, where everything goes 75% off. In addition to buying the boys lots of stuff for their birthdays, Easter, and Christmas, this year for the first time I got to buy girl toys! Oh, was it fun to look at baby dolls, Barbies, and Strawberry Shortcake this time! As you can see, retail therapy is always helpful :)
A Note About My Last Post...
Thanks to everyone who has been supportive of my whiny, self-pitying self over the past few days. I do fully realize that in the grand scheme of things, having to do boatloads more education and paying several hundred dollars more than expected for post-placement services aren't the worst tragedies that could befall us. I'm still pretty upset though, and we're still working on hashing things out. I have learned in the past few days that everyone from our adoption agency to other adoptive parents to another homestudy agency I contacted about doing our post-placement visits all agree that these changes seem unreasonable, so at the very least we are feeling validated in our frustrations!
Someone told me that perhaps I should watch the negative tone I used in that post, and I understand their point. If you know us, you know we will do anything asked of us to get to our baby girl. And we would move heaven and earth to get to her. I don't mean to imply that what is being asked of us is too much, or not worth it, and I hope that's not how it came across. BUT...the point of this blog is mostly to document this journey for us, our friends and family, and for her to read one day as well. I want to be honest. I want to be true.
It was also suggested that if someone else considering international adoption read that post, they might be discouraged or scared off. Again, I see that point. However, to the prospective adoptive parent reading this now, I say this: when I was researching, reading every blog I could find, determining if we could handle this unpredictable, emotional journey, I loved seeing the good and the bad. Almost every adoption has setbacks, changes, and things no one could have predicted. If all we post are the highlights, then we are doing a disservice to you who are trying to decide. You should be given the whole picture, so that you can decide if this roller coaster is something you want to ride. So, please, don't let anything I wrote in that post scare you off. For us, we know that any hoop we need to jump through is more than worth it, but it doesn't mean we can't be frustrated while we jump :)
Someone told me that perhaps I should watch the negative tone I used in that post, and I understand their point. If you know us, you know we will do anything asked of us to get to our baby girl. And we would move heaven and earth to get to her. I don't mean to imply that what is being asked of us is too much, or not worth it, and I hope that's not how it came across. BUT...the point of this blog is mostly to document this journey for us, our friends and family, and for her to read one day as well. I want to be honest. I want to be true.
It was also suggested that if someone else considering international adoption read that post, they might be discouraged or scared off. Again, I see that point. However, to the prospective adoptive parent reading this now, I say this: when I was researching, reading every blog I could find, determining if we could handle this unpredictable, emotional journey, I loved seeing the good and the bad. Almost every adoption has setbacks, changes, and things no one could have predicted. If all we post are the highlights, then we are doing a disservice to you who are trying to decide. You should be given the whole picture, so that you can decide if this roller coaster is something you want to ride. So, please, don't let anything I wrote in that post scare you off. For us, we know that any hoop we need to jump through is more than worth it, but it doesn't mean we can't be frustrated while we jump :)
Monday, January 17, 2011
Pity Party for One
So, do you ever have a day (or string of a few days) where you feel like life is just handing you a steaming pile of dung? I think that is the best way to describe how I'm feeling right now. Before I get too deep into my vent, I should clarify first that:
1) we have had a super easy road on this adoption journey so far. I know that.
2) the stuff we are dealing with now is MINOR. I know that too.
3) things could easily get a whole lot worse at points down the road. I know this too, though I am in some denial on that one.
Now, back to my whining.
Tonight I am feeling pissy. There's no better, more eloquent word to describe it. We've had a few bumps in the road lately, and while none of them are major, added up they are making me cranky! First, we are still waiting on our I-171H form to come in the mail. For those not busy memorizing the purposes of various government forms, this is our approval to bring an orphaned child into the country. We sent our dossier off November 23rd, without this form, because at that time, we didn't need it. Well, Ethiopia just changed their rules, and now we do. So once we get it, we have to have it authenticated (separately from everything we already sent, so this costs more money) and then shipped over there (separately, so this costs more money...see a trend?). I am a little unclear on how this affects us as far as our wait. I don't think it really sets us back any time, since everyone else on our agency's waitlist is having to do the same thing, but it's just another hurdle.
And my other cause for pissiness (is that a word? it should be.) is our homestudy agency. I have not been a huge fan of theirs for a variety of reasons since we picked them. On Friday they sent out an e-mail stating that all families who have not yet brought their children home will now be held to a completely different set of education and post-placement requirements than we agreed to and signed a contract regarding. For instance, we had to do an 8 hour online course and each read 3 books prior to them approving our home study. We did this as asked. Now they have told us that we didn't need to read books (and they may not count for anything), but we do need to complete another 22 (yes, 22) hours of education prior to bringing our daughter home. Because, you know, we totally have 22 free hours just sitting open for fulfilling their new rules. We don't want to actually parent our existing children or anything. Oh, and, instead of needing 3 post-placement visits (per Ethiopia's requirements), our homestudy agency is now going to require 5, and we are supposed to pay for them, even though the contract we signed states very clearly that they require 2. We sent a respectful but assertive e-mail tonight, but I don't expect to get anywhere. I should state for the record that I am an absolutely huge fan of education, and I'm sure the extra post-placement visits will be extremely helpful as well. However, you shouldn't tell your clients one thing, have them do that thing, and then change the rules halfway through the process. We've had two months since we submitted our dossier that we could have been completing education, had we known we needed to. So yeah, I'm SUPER cranky about that one!
And just to clarify, this is NOT our adoption agency. I still am super glad we chose them. Want to know what I love? I love that I had a question a couple of weeks ago, e-mailed the program coordinator at 6 pm, she read it and asked me to call her at home, and then answered my question from home. I love that I felt like I was talking to a friend while we chatted. I found out that we are most likely in the single digits on the waitlist for infants, though families above us could be requesting a boy, or either gender (or they could all want a girl...who knows?). Our agency doesn't hand out a hard and fast number, and I think I like that. Just knowing roughly where we are in line is helpful. I don't think I want to be on pins and needles waiting to move up a spot. I know they handed out some referrals today, and I rejoice for those families, and for the fact that we move up a little too!
1) we have had a super easy road on this adoption journey so far. I know that.
2) the stuff we are dealing with now is MINOR. I know that too.
3) things could easily get a whole lot worse at points down the road. I know this too, though I am in some denial on that one.
Now, back to my whining.
Tonight I am feeling pissy. There's no better, more eloquent word to describe it. We've had a few bumps in the road lately, and while none of them are major, added up they are making me cranky! First, we are still waiting on our I-171H form to come in the mail. For those not busy memorizing the purposes of various government forms, this is our approval to bring an orphaned child into the country. We sent our dossier off November 23rd, without this form, because at that time, we didn't need it. Well, Ethiopia just changed their rules, and now we do. So once we get it, we have to have it authenticated (separately from everything we already sent, so this costs more money) and then shipped over there (separately, so this costs more money...see a trend?). I am a little unclear on how this affects us as far as our wait. I don't think it really sets us back any time, since everyone else on our agency's waitlist is having to do the same thing, but it's just another hurdle.
And my other cause for pissiness (is that a word? it should be.) is our homestudy agency. I have not been a huge fan of theirs for a variety of reasons since we picked them. On Friday they sent out an e-mail stating that all families who have not yet brought their children home will now be held to a completely different set of education and post-placement requirements than we agreed to and signed a contract regarding. For instance, we had to do an 8 hour online course and each read 3 books prior to them approving our home study. We did this as asked. Now they have told us that we didn't need to read books (and they may not count for anything), but we do need to complete another 22 (yes, 22) hours of education prior to bringing our daughter home. Because, you know, we totally have 22 free hours just sitting open for fulfilling their new rules. We don't want to actually parent our existing children or anything. Oh, and, instead of needing 3 post-placement visits (per Ethiopia's requirements), our homestudy agency is now going to require 5, and we are supposed to pay for them, even though the contract we signed states very clearly that they require 2. We sent a respectful but assertive e-mail tonight, but I don't expect to get anywhere. I should state for the record that I am an absolutely huge fan of education, and I'm sure the extra post-placement visits will be extremely helpful as well. However, you shouldn't tell your clients one thing, have them do that thing, and then change the rules halfway through the process. We've had two months since we submitted our dossier that we could have been completing education, had we known we needed to. So yeah, I'm SUPER cranky about that one!
And just to clarify, this is NOT our adoption agency. I still am super glad we chose them. Want to know what I love? I love that I had a question a couple of weeks ago, e-mailed the program coordinator at 6 pm, she read it and asked me to call her at home, and then answered my question from home. I love that I felt like I was talking to a friend while we chatted. I found out that we are most likely in the single digits on the waitlist for infants, though families above us could be requesting a boy, or either gender (or they could all want a girl...who knows?). Our agency doesn't hand out a hard and fast number, and I think I like that. Just knowing roughly where we are in line is helpful. I don't think I want to be on pins and needles waiting to move up a spot. I know they handed out some referrals today, and I rejoice for those families, and for the fact that we move up a little too!
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Christmas 2010
Not exactly adoption-related, but I wanted to share a few pictures from our Christmas. It's been really fun this fall and winter to compare how different things will hopefully be next year with a baby girl in the house! We have tons of family traditions and rituals for the holiday, and I can't wait to share them with her, just as we've done with the boys. Every year, I have looked at the beautiful little holiday dresses (Why are there dozens of adorable dresses, but the only Christmas outfits for boys are red and black argyle? Why?) and felt a twinge of sadness for the daughter I didn't have. This year it was much more fun to dream about (hopefully) getting to buy a dress for my little girl next year! Poor kid...after 6 years of buying only boy clothes, she's going to wear dresses and bows whether she wants to or not :)
We are lucky enough to have our very own elf who visits us each year for most of December. His name is Buddy, and he loves to get into trouble! This was his second year staying with us, and some of the antics we have enjoyed the most were when he TPed the boys' rooms, when he helped us decorate our tree with our undies, and when he tried to drive Chad's car (he is not a good driver). 
We had such a wonderful holiday this year. Both boys are old enough to totally get the fuss, but young enough to still have a sweet innocence as well. Perfect. We had fun festivities the whole month of December...breakfast with Santa at our church, Chad's holiday party for work, leaving our shoes out for St. Nick, Christmas programs at school, decorating a gingerbread village, Christmas crafts, and opening not one, but four, Advent calendars each night (not sure how that happened...let's just say they have great grandmas). So much fun!
Leaving our shoes out for St. Nick:
The gingerbread village the boys decorated:
My handsome little man before his preschool Christmas program (where he put on an amazing Little Drummer Boy performance!):
Griffin telling Santa what he wants for Christmas at Breakfast with Santa (Cooper wouldn't go near him!):
We are lucky enough to have our very own elf who visits us each year for most of December. His name is Buddy, and he loves to get into trouble! This was his second year staying with us, and some of the antics we have enjoyed the most were when he TPed the boys' rooms, when he helped us decorate our tree with our undies, and when he tried to drive Chad's car (he is not a good driver).
Here he got into a marshmallow fight with some of our other friends, and below that you can see where he tried to help us wrap the tree, just like all the presents under it. He means well!
We had a wonderful Christmas day as well! Griffin woke up at 6:45, but was willing to hang out with Chad and I until Cooper woke up at 8 am. I know how hard that must have been for him!! This was the first year we were able to get them to take turns opening gifts, and it was so much fun to really get to watch them open them each present and see their reactions.
They didn't have too many requests this year on their wishlists. Cooper wanted trucks (big surprise) and Griffin kept asking for things like dragons and dinosaur fossils (not going to happen). He had mentioned once or twice wanting a DS, and I got a killer deal on one, but I wasn't sure he would really be that excited, and then on Christmas Eve he informed me that was what he really wanted. I told him I wasn't sure it would happen since he hadn't really sounded like he wanted one, and he told me Santa would take care of it. Oh, I was so thrilled when he opened it on Christmas morning, and told me, "See, Mom, I told you Santa would get it!" I would say that and Mario Kart for the Wii have been his two favorite gifts. Cooper has loved all the new Playmobil sets they got, as well as his new trucks. Chad and I said we weren't going to exchange gifts this year in an effort to save money for the adoption (and he is not always the best about gift giving anyway), but he totally surprised me with two gift certificates to a foot massage place I have been dying to go to! Major husband points!!
Leaving cookies for Santa:
That afternoon my parents, one of my brothers and his wife, and Chad's parents and his sister, brother in law and nephew all came over for Christmas dinner. After dinner we usually play board games, but this year Chad created a Minute to Win It (my new favorite show) game for us as a surprise for me. We were all dying with laughter, it was awesome! (Have I mentioned how amazing my husband is? Perhaps another post to come!)
I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday, and is having a great start to the New Year!
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